Steve's Letter: "Did I mention I had a heart attack?"

Yes, it's true. I did have a heart attack.

I died!

Do you know where I'm writing this from?

Seriously, I really did have a mild heart attack. The doctor wasn't even sure I had one. I have two stents and am doing fine. I spent two days and nights in the hospital. And both the people at the hospital and I am glad that I'm not there anymore. (I don't do quiet well.)

Just so you know, the doctor said that there were no restrictions. In fact, the Saturday after my time in the hospital I spoke for a convention in Nashville, the next weekend at a denominational mission gathering and on Easter Sunday for the sunrise service at Sea World. The doctor has given me medication; I can't eat anything I like anymore; I have to get back on that stupid treadmill and I've got to do something about my pipe.

So now you know. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

But I will.

Not long after the heart attack, I spoke for that mission meeting I mentioned above and my friend, Buddy Greene, was singing. When he got up to sing, he said, "You have to watch Steve on this heart attack thing. He'll milk it for all it's worth."

He's right, of course. A heart attack isn't a tragedy for a preacher...it's just grist for the sermon/lecture/speech mill. So let me tell you what I learned.

I learned that God's family is a good thing to have. Paul wrote to the Philippians, "I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity" (Philippians 4:10).

I guess if one must have a heart attack, I had the best kind. No pain, no shortness of breath and no problem with the EKG. I was just feeling a bit of tingling in my arms, was perspiring and was nauseous. I thought it was a kidney stone, but Anna called it and took me to the emergency room...

...where I was greeted by the receptionist who said rather loudly, "Steve Brown!" Then she jumped up, hugged me and said, "I listen to you every day."

(I prayed, Lord, don't do this to me! If this is a heart attack, at least put me in a place where I can cuss and spit.)

That receptionist who hugged me said something else. She said, "Steve, this is from Jesus. It's going to be okay."

She wasn't the only one. Ric Cannada, the chancellor at Reformed Seminary where I teach, sent an announcement to all our campuses, the local Christian television and radio stations mentioned it, and my church, Willow Creek, sent it out on the prayer chain. At first, I was quite irritated. (That's my default position.) Then I realized what a gift my family-biological and spiritual-really is. The staff at Key Life was wonderful and Christians from all over have told me that they were praying for me.

I also learned that every day the world rolls over on top of someone who was just sitting on top of it. Someone has said, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." James said it better: "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit'-yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring" (James 4:13-14).

Do you know what I did three weeks before the heart attack? I had a physical and the doctor told me I was in really good health.

Someone told me about the man who had his annual physical and was pronounced in good health. On the way out of the doctor's office, he had a coronary and died on the spot.

"What are we going to do?" the nurse said to the doctor.

"I don't know about you," he replied, "but I'm going to turn him around."

The only sure thing is Jesus and anybody who invests anything of any importance in anything else and what he or she deems important has "paid too much for his or her whistle."

And then, finally (actually I learned a whole lot more than I'm writing here, but I'm running out of space), I learned that Jesus is faithful and, when it's time to get on the train, the ticket is there. Do you know what I was doing when everybody else was in a panic? As you may or may not know, I'm not a "peaceful person" and have a tendency to yell when I'm scared I should have been preparing for death, worrying about my family and yelling at the nurses. But there was none of that.

I was reading a novel and the novel was more interesting and absorbing to me than the heart attack.

How about that, sports fans?

Paul was right, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

That's when I realized that you call that "peace." It sneaks up on you and you don't know you've got it until it's there.

Oh yes, I've also learned that heart attacks aren't necessarily bad things and that Buddy was right. I will milk it.

As I told you, I spoke for the sunrise service at Sea World here in Orlando. To my surprise, the stadium filled up and then the overflow areas filled up too. And they kept coming. I was quite impressed with my being able to draw such a big crowd until I realized that they were coming for the same reason a lot people go to NASCAR races. They don't want accidents to happen, but do want to be there if one does.

A whole lot of people who don't normally get up that early decided to go to the sunrise service not because they wanted me to die, but they did want to be there if it happened.

Well, I'm still here. As Winston Churchill said, "There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at with no result."

But it's better than just still being here. I feel good. I have plenty of energy and my doctor said that I'm going to live a very long time...maybe.

However, it's even better than that. In the experience, I realized that what we believe is true and when it gets dark, He'll be there.

He promised.

He also told me to remind you.

In His Grip,

Steve