Steve's Letter: He's not finished with us yet!

This morning I answered a listener's email who asked to be removed from our mailing list. That happens a lot. This particular man was upset about my friendship with a fairly well-known Christian leader and wanted nothing to do with anybody who had anything to do with that Christian leader.

We, of course, took his name off our mailing list. I then wrote to him...

You must live a lonely life if you remove yourself from all the places, people and ministries with which you disagree.

I haven't found anybody except Jesus (and I have trouble with him sometimes :)) with whom I agree all the time...and certainly ___________ is someone with whom I disagree about a bunch of stuff. My pastor drives me nuts sometimes and my wife too. Then I have children with whom I disagree. And I certainly have serious problems with the nation's politicians.

But where am I going to go? It's hard to be an outsider of the human race.

Do you know what "secondary separation" is?

Primary separation is not having anything to do with the bad folks. Secondary separation is not having anything to do with the folks who have anything to do with the bad folks. One could, I suppose, even refuse to have anything to do with the folks who have anything to do with the folks who have anything to do with the folks who have anything to do with the bad folks.

Pretty soon it's just you and Jesus...

...and when Jesus leaves the building, the building can be a lonely place.

Do you remember when John came to Jesus, reporting that a man was casting out demons in his name? John said that he had told the man to sit on it because he was not "following us."

Jesus' reply is interesting (Mark 9:39-41):

Do not stop him, for no one who does a mighty work in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. For the one who is not against us is for us. For truly, I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward.

There are three truths coming from that text. And they are instructive on how Christians are called to deal with people.

First, my enemies are not necessarily Jesus' enemies.

That means the people on my theological, ecclesiastical and political "hit list" may not be on his. That irritates me, but it also gives me pause.

Do you have people you love to hate? I do. And frankly, I don't want to know them. If I knew them, I might like them and I don't want to like them.

I remember a leader in our denomination who made me angry every time I even thought about him. I heard the stories of the people he had condemned and hurt; I knew about his arrogance and pride; I knew of a church he almost destroyed with his poor judgment. So when I was called to give some advice to a denominational committee on which he served, I could hardly wait. In my heart, I dared him to say anything. I planned to "speak truth to power" and the angrier I get, the better I talk.

When I appeared before that committee, he was the one sent to bring me from the hotel lobby to the meeting room. (This was shortly after my brother's death, one of the major tragedies in my life.) He led me to the door and said, "Steve, before we go in, let me say something. I'm so very sorry about your brother's death." Then to my amazement, tears welled up in his eyes. "I just want you to know," he continued, "that my wife and I have been praying for you daily that God would show you great love and comfort in this time."

Spit!!!!

The second truth is that my job description and pay level don't require that I be too conditional.

I got a wonderful gift from Fred Smith's family this week. (As you know, before his death, Fred was my friend and mentor for most of my life.) His son, Fred, sent me a handkerchief embroidered with Fred's initials. He told me that his father's great dream was to be an opera singer. In fact, he studied under some of the great teachers in New York. Not only that, he ordered some fancy handkerchiefs to put in his jacket pocket when he débuted as an opera singer. Fred saved that box of handkerchiefs for that great day.

Then one of his teachers said to Fred, "Fred, you have everything you need to be an opera singer...perseverance, discipline, tenacity, dedication. The only thing you lack is talent." That was the end of Fred's opera career, but he kept those handkerchiefs. After his death, the family decided that I would like to have one of them.

As I write this, I'm looking at that handkerchief. I think God said something similar to me: "Steve, you are mine and you have a great heart for following me, but you lack the holiness, goodness and purity to pull it off. So stay close to me and I'll love you, but be careful and remember that I love you not because you are lovable, but just because I do. It will help you in dealing with others."

The final truth is that God isn't finished with me, with you or with my enemies yet.

Someone has said that behind every great man there is a surprised mother-in-law. (I know, I know...that's sexist...but it's still funny.) I know that surprise. One of the good things about being old (and there aren't many) is that I have watched children become men and women. I can't tell you how often I've been surprised when the "evil to the bone" kid became a preacher, the most rebellious teenagers became influential leaders in the church and community, and the worst kids I knew got married and became incredible and loving parents. I've seen so much change in people's lives that it's almost (but not quite) fixed my cynicism.

But do you know who has surprised me the most?

Me.

I'm kinder when I remember that.

I'm running out of space here, but there is one other thing that I feel constrained to say. Nothing I've written above should be considered a call for us to become "Christian wimps." Walt Kelly's classic comic strip Pogo has been quoted so often that the quote has become a cliché. His character Pogo says, "We have met the enemy and he is us." That's simply not true. Sometimes we're the enemy, but sometimes it's "them." The only people who use the quote seriously are people who don't believe there is evil, that all truth is relative, and that if we're nice, others will be nice to us.

The problem is that I have only so many "bullets in my gun" and Jesus wants me to be very careful where I shoot.

He told me to tell you to be careful too!

In His Grip,