I said quick…so here is quick.
1. From an early age tell them what they do wrong and never or seldom tell them what they do right.
2. Demand that they do exactly what you want in the way you want it to be done. Never leave room for their creativity or unique contribution to problem solving or decision making. Micromanage them. Hover. Make them afraid of you.
3. Get angry often. Blow up, and be unpredictable. Never apologize for your anger.
4. Send mixed messages. Tell them you love them, but don’t hug them or play with them. Be remote.
5. Make them conform to your ways, especially in ways that don’t matter (like how to keep their room clean or brush their teeth).
6. Be nice around other people, but not so nice at home with them alone.
7. Dominate their mother so she can’t really defend them, and they will feel like they just gotta get out of that home when they get older, just to survive!
There’s more you can do, but they are more drastic measures. The above is usually enough to drive kids away permanently. And you’ll probably be surprised when they leave and don’t want to come home.
I’m not a cynic. I’ve just seen this way too often, and I thought you should know. You can parent with law or grace…grace is better!
You take it to heart…please!