There are three mistakes we can make in the presence of pain.

Matt Heard:
There are three mistakes we can make in the presence of pain. Let’s talk about it, on Key Life.

Matthew Porter:
If you’ve suffered too long under a do more, try harder religion, Key Life is here to proclaim that Jesus sets the captives free. Steve invited Matt Heard to teach us all this week. Matt is a speaker, teacher, writer, pastor, coach, and the author of life with a capital L.

Matt Heard:
Thank you Matthew, and greetings to all of you Key Lifers, wherever you are. We’re on a journey this week that I’m calling Dancing with Broken Bones. That’s part of what the gospel enables us to do. And actually that’s what we’re required to do if we’re going to thrive as human beings and as followers of Jesus, because we can’t avoid getting broken bones. We can’t avoid messes and our sin and the shrapnel of other people’s sin embedding in us and all these reminders, some of them pretty brutal of we live in a fallen world. So, we get broken bones. The issue is, the question is, will we dance with them? And Vivian Greene once wrote.

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

And there’s a lot of truth to that. The phrase dancing with broken bones is basically coming from Psalm 51 verse 8, the New English Version, New English Bible says.

Let the bones dance which thou hast broken.

So, what’s your broken bone? Maybe it’s a relational thing or financial thing or health thing or an addiction or a sin thing. But bottom line, it’s there. Yesterday, I did not break this piece of pottery, that’s now on the desk in our studio here, but I did it outside. And you can hear the pieces. A little bowl, a beautiful pottery bowl that is now broken, but next to it, I’ve got what an artist friend of mine did, repaired an identical bowl with gold laced paint, glue. Kintsugi is an ancient Japanese art that means golden repair, and when a Kintsugi master repairs a broken tea service dish or piece of pottery, it actually becomes more beautiful and more valuable. It’s a way for us to apply in a very practical way what James was talking about in James chapter 1: verse 2. And if you’re thinking the word dance is a little bit too drastic in the midst of whatever broken bone situation you’re in, how about the word joy? James says.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds.

Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance, let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. And if any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault. Hear that? Without finding fault. And it will be given to you. It doesn’t come in to shame us, but to restore us.

Blessed is the one who perseveres

this is down in verse 12

who perseveres under trial because having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life, the crown of Zoe, that life of God that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

So, James is saying, you know what? We all have trials. We all have these broken bone experiences, but we can consider it pure joy if we make the right choice. You know, there are lots of theologies out there. One theology that I’ve kind of developed over the years, it’s pretty easy to understand, but it takes you a lifetime to unpack. It’s called pasture theology. And basically it’s viewing our lives as a journey. You know, we’re known as sheep in Scripture and we’re moving from pasture to pasture in our journeys. And each pasture is a, it’s a realm of greater maturity. And a lot of times we get stagnant and we stay in one pasture and we eat all the grass and we’re just there, we’re not growing. But to get to the next pasture in my rendition of pasture theology, there are gates. And those gates are what we must go through to get to that next pasture, that next level of maturity. And the gates are actually broken experiences. The gates are painful. The gates are what refine us. And pasture theology requires a choice, so I’m wandering around and I want to get to that next pasture, but I don’t want to have to engage with the pain. And so, I turn around and think maybe there’s another way for me to grow, for me to mature, for me to taste the life of the gospel a little bit more deeply. And so, we wander around, all the while we’ve got to go through that painful gate. And so, instead of doing the U turn, we need to come back around and go through it. But before we talk about going through it, let’s first unpack what we’re all pretty good at. And that is doing the U turn, because you see, when I’m standing at that gate, I have a broken bone experience. I’ve got a choice. Am I going to escape or am I going to engage? And our most natural response is to engage. You know, it’s the flight or fight thing. I want to flight. I want to escape. I want to get out of there. And I do a U turn. And when I’m doing that, I’m thinking it’s making me feel better, but it’s actually causing more damage. It’s also delaying the growth that can happen in me as a result of this painful situation that I’m going through or friends going through. Let me give you a few choices that we make, really mistakes that we make when we’re facing pain. One is we opt for medication over maturity. We’re all good at this, we just medicate our pain. We think, all right, what do I need to do? We all have coping toolboxes. And some of them are experiences or addictions or substance abuse. Whatever it might be, we go there to distract us. You know the word amusement? When you break it down, muse means to think. A is the prefix of negation, so amuse means to not think. And amusement, by definition, is not thinking. And you know what? Amusement is good. We need breaks. We need brain breaks, heart breaks, we need times of amusement. But we live in a culture that has become addicted to amusement at all times. And we then take that addiction and we apply it to that gate experience that we might be in right now. What, what is it? Is it a financial crisis that you’re in, or a job, or a rebellion of a child? The list goes on and on. In the midst of that, will I choose to medicate? Or will I choose maturity? Will I choose an idol? Isaiah 44 talks about idolatry, verse 10.

Who shapes a god and casts an idol which can profit him nothing?

But we all do that. We build those idols. We fashion them to help us deal with the pain. But Christopher Wright says.

The worst thing about idols is that they are utterly useless when you need the most.

That’s one mistake, medication over maturity. Another one, mistake I make often when I’m facing a broken experience, is I opt for illusion over reality. And the illusion, maybe it’s either the world isn’t fallen or time will heal or I’m exempt from pain, those kind of lies we fall for. And instead, the reality is, no, the world is fallen and time won’t automatically heal. And I’m not exempt. I mean, the world is fallen. You guys already know this. One of my spiritual gifts is clarifying the obvious, so I’ll clarify it. The world is broken. Romans 8.

The creation was subjected to frustration. The whole creation has been groaning.

So, the world is fallen. So, too often we stop dealing with the illusion that we’ll, this is an exception, this broken experience, maybe I can figure out another way to go that won’t require me to walk through this pain, you know, there’s that other mistake that we fall into, time won’t automatically heal, that’s a reality that challenges the illusions that we have. Time will not automatically heal. Time will simply create crust and calluses. And I’m not exempt. I’m not exempt from difficulty. Following Jesus is not about learning to rub the genie bottle in just the right way and if I get the formula down, I won’t have to go through difficulty. John 16:33, Jesus says.

I’ve told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble.

Do you know what Jesus means by that? I’m pretty sure he means that.

In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I’ve overcome the world.

So, following Jesus is not a get out of jail free card, it’s not an exemption card. And if I start going down that path of thinking I should be exempted, it’ll lead me to bitterness or disillusionment when I’m experiencing difficulty or shame or guilt or discouragement, because obviously this is happening to me because I’ve not matured enough. I’ve not rubbed the genie bottle in the right way. And instead I need to trust what Jesus is saying about invading my brokenness. And so, mistake number three, you’ve got mistake one, opting for medication over maturity. And mistake two, opting for illusion over reality. But mistake three is where we’ll opt as a result for being wounded over being refined. So, if I’m not going to engage, but try to escape this broken experience. It’s going to bring about some pain and difficulty that will seep into me and change me, not for the better, but for the worse. If I’m trying to escape, someone once asked a goldsmith how long he kept the gold in the furnace and his reply was, until I can see my face in it. And that’s a bit how God refines us. He uses those broken bone experiences to make us into who he wants us to be. So, I hope you grasp that and I hope you thrive today.

Matthew Porter:
Thank you Matt. That was Matt Heard teaching us about the three mistakes we make in the face of pain. Our text was from the book of James. And again, we’re in a powerful series called Dancing with Broken Bones. More to explore here and we will do that with Matt tomorrow. Do join us. Well, recently on Steve Brown Etc. we spoke with one of our favorite guests, Preston Sprinkle. His latest book concerns the first century church and what it can teach us about politics today, about how we can create real change and influence. We put that whole show on a CD that we would love to send to your way for free. Would that be all right? Well, then call us right now at 1-800-KEY-LIFE that’s 1-800-539-5433. You can also e-mail [email protected] to ask for that CD. To mail your request, go to keylife.org/contact to find our mailing addresses. Again, just ask for your free copy of the CD featuring Preston Sprinkle. And before you go, if you value the work of Key Life, would you join us in that work through your financial support? Giving is easy. You can charge a gift on your credit card or include a gift in your envelope. Or just pick up your phone and text Key Life to 28950 that’s Key Life, one word or two. It doesn’t matter. Just text that to 28950 and then follow the instructions. Key Life is a member of ECFA in the States and CCCC in Canada. Both of those organizations assure financial accountability. And as always, we are a listener supported production of Key Life Network.