“When is it appropriate to break fellowship?”
OCTOBER 11, 2024
Steve Brown:
When is it appropriate to break fellowship? Let’s talk about it, on Key Life.
Matthew Porter:
This is Key Life, dedicated to the message that the only people who get any better are those who know that if they don’t get any better, God will still love them anyway. That teaching raises a lot of questions, so here’s author and seminary professor Steve Brown, along with Pete Alwinson from ForgeTruth with answers from the Bible that will make you free.
Steve Brown:
Thank you Matthew. Hi Pete.
Pete Alwinson:
Hey man, you doing all right?
Steve Brown:
I am. I’m doing really good, but I’m old. I could die during this broadcast. You don’t know.
Pete Alwinson:
If we could capitalize on it for ministry purposes.
Steve Brown:
And make money on it. Listen it would be cool.
Pete Alwinson:
Oh man, that’d be traumatic. I’d have to give you CPR, brother.
Steve Brown:
Do you know any pagans that laugh about death?
Pete Alwinson:
No. I don’t.
Steve Brown:
It gets very quiet.
Pete Alwinson:
That’s right.
Steve Brown:
So, if you’re not a believer, you didn’t find what we just said funny, you might want to get something straight in your life so you can joke in the face of the grim reaper. By the way, as you know, Pete comes in on Fridays, check out ForgeTruth.com and read the book Like Father Like Son. Pete is now working on another book that may be out before Jesus returns. How are you doing with that book?
Pete Alwinson:
I’m doing good. I’m hoping it’ll be done by the end of the year because I’m going to be teaching on it too at Forge, I’m going to get it done.
Steve Brown:
All right.
Pete Alwinson:
Following in your footsteps.
Steve Brown:
Okay. ForgeTruth.com check it out. And by the way, we love to get your questions. You can ask a question anytime you want by dialing 1-800-KEY-LIFE and following directions. We’ll record your question and sometimes put your voice on the air. Or you can send your questions to
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Pete Alwinson:
You got it. Let’s pray together. Our Great Holy God, we come into your presence today and Lord, as Steve just said, there are so many issues that we face. There’s many challenges and difficulties financially, emotionally, and with our relationships. Father, You know our hearts, and at the end of this week, we could be weary, we could be physically tired, emotionally tired, and spiritually ready to give up. And so, Lord, You know us. You know which one of us feels what right now. And we pray that you would come into our life, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in a fresh way to bring your renewing, resting Shalom into our life. Give us that peace that passes all understanding, knowing that you are in charge and we give you our trials and difficulties right now. And Lord, help us to get unburdened ourselves to you, the God who loves us, redeemed us, and has power to help us. And so Lord, even now, as we think of doing Q&A, we have a lot of questions and answers. And as we deal with these, we pray for wisdom for that. And we pray Lord that you would use our pastors and teachers and priests and leaders and worship directors and all those this week-end, as we come into your presence, Lord, to be renewed, to give worship and glory and honor to Your Holy Name. You deserve it. Be with us now. Be with us this week-end. We commit all these things to You, in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Steve Brown:
Amen. Pete, this is an e-mail, and I’m always uncomfortable with this question. When is it appropriate Biblically to break fellowship.
Pete Alwinson:
And like leave a church or to break fellowship with somebody?
Steve Brown:
A brother or sister in Christ.
Pete Alwinson:
It’s a tough one, isn’t it?
Steve Brown:
It really is. And it’s hard, but I think we’ve got to set up some principles when you do this kind of thing. First, you don’t break fellowship because of sin.
Pete Alwinson:
Whoa. What do you mean by that? Just because if I sin, that doesn’t mean
Steve Brown:
I don’t care what you do, Pete.
Pete Alwinson:
you cut me off.
Steve Brown:
I won’t ever cut you off. I mean, no matter where you go or what you do or how bad you are, you’ll be my friend no matter what. Now, there’s a difference between sinning and repenting.
Pete Alwinson:
Yeah, yeah.
Steve Brown:
And I know you, if you did something real bad, you would be devastated. I mean, really, really bad, like you killed somebody. I’d still be your friend. I’d help you bury the body, but if that was no big deal to you, I couldn’t walk with you.
Pete Alwinson:
That’s right. So, what you’ve said is love bears all, what I Corinthians 13.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
But in the New Testament it does say, even though we have to bear with one another, all the one another commands, nevertheless, bad company corrupts good morals.
Steve Brown:
Oh, and so that’s a second principle.
Pete Alwinson:
Yeah.
Steve Brown:
If they’re going to pull you down instead of you pulling them up, go find some other friends.
Pete Alwinson:
Yeah. Yeah.
Steve Brown:
That’s just practical understanding.
Pete Alwinson:
It’s just spiritual logic, right? And I think of a friend who I still see, but I don’t make attempts to get together with, and I think that sometimes I do feel a little bit bad about that, but I pray for him. But I realized that in working together, it just, it didn’t work. And I think Paul and Barnabas had that situation.
Steve Brown:
I agree.
Pete Alwinson:
And they just, they had to part ways. Then later, I think they repaired it.
Steve Brown:
Yes, they did.
Pete Alwinson:
But we don’t have a record that they ever worked together again.
Steve Brown:
But their friendship was restored.
Pete Alwinson:
Their friendship was restored.
Steve Brown:
There’s a record of that.
Pete Alwinson:
That’s right.
Steve Brown:
Because Paul refers to it later.
Pete Alwinson:
Right.
Steve Brown:
And that’s just normal, practical stuff. There’s some people you just don’t click with. You’re just.
Pete Alwinson:
In the family.
Steve Brown:
Now, there are others that are pagans that you need to be careful about because of what we’re talking about, you can’t, I don’t have any, well, I’m one or two, but I don’t have many close friends who are not believers. And I don’t want any friends, who are not believers. I really don’t, I don’t, they are so superficial and silly and they don’t understand what the world is about and it just drives me nuts. So, sometimes you do, but sometimes just for a period you break fellowship.
Pete Alwinson:
Sometimes you do. And sometimes you say it breaks my heart to do this, but I just need to not hang around with you. And sometimes, and then we move on to the next one, but sometimes I’ve found that when I’ve been hanging around people that are not on the grow, that I kind of get into a rut and I need to be around people that sharpened me a little bit more.
Steve Brown:
And by the way, that would be me. I just want to take a nap and you scare me to death. You’ve got more energy than anybody else.
Pete Alwinson:
You’re going swimming after this.
Steve Brown:
Yeah, well, maybe, but I’m not going to climb a mountain the way you do.
Pete Alwinson:
Well, you know, there it is. I might die on that mountain.
Steve Brown:
Hey, listen, let’s go to our phone lines.
Caller 1:
I am a saved Christian. I’ve studied the Lord and I have a Bachelor of Biblical Studies. I’m a volunteering chaplain, I went to ministry school at a late age of 62. I’m torn at my church. They’ve asked me to come to the pulpit. Church is led by a female pastor who is very good, but I’m having a problem with several Scriptures. I Corinthians 14:34, Timothy 2:10, Timothy 2:8 to 13, and Titus 2:4, and Revelation 2:4. I know God is not a God of confusion, but maybe I’m just confused. So, would you please help me if you can?
Pete Alwinson:
Yeah.
Steve Brown:
That’s a good question. And I, you need to know, and this is an effort at being authentic. Pete and I are both a part of a denomination that does not ordain women. In that sense, we’re like the Roman Catholics and a number of others. We simply don’t do it. And we don’t do it because of the Scriptures that you brought up just then. We believe that it’s not a matter of gifts. A woman can do anything a man can do in the church. It’s a matter of authority in the church. And so, that’s where we come from, but we are aware that there are other Christians who love Jesus just as much as we do, and who disagree with those points. And I have one in my family like that. And we understand, you don’t break fellowship over that. You just, a number, I was telling Pete when we were talking about this earlier, that I was in a church in California and one of the associate pastors was a dear lady. And she didn’t know what denomination I was in when she discovered it, she was shocked. And she said something to me that was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever heard relating to me. She said, Steve, I just found out that you don’t believe in women’s ordination. Then she smiled and she said, you’re the first person I ever met who felt that way, and I didn’t feel condemned.
Pete Alwinson:
Mm. Yeah.
Steve Brown:
So, that’s a good goal. Whatever you decide and you have to decide.
Pete Alwinson:
Right. Right.
Steve Brown:
Whatever you decide, make sure that the pastor you love, if you decide you can’t serve in that situation, doesn’t feel condemned because of your decision. And that’s going to require a lot of hard work.
Pete Alwinson:
Boy, well said. There’s really nothing to add to that. Just to underline what you said in that, That is, you have to make that decision and there’ll be some that will condemn you for it and there’ll be some that will support you, but do it kindly and with grace.
Steve Brown:
I agree. And we don’t do that sometimes. I mean, I’m working on some material I’m teaching at the Cove about how hard it is to love your brothers and sisters in Christ. And the reason it’s hard is because we believe something. If we didn’t believe anything, we would all join hands and sing Kumbaya around the fire and go to bed happy. But we believe something, so these kinds of issues come up.
Pete Alwinson:
We can have convictions without attacking people.
Steve Brown:
Boy, we really can. So, make sure you do it right, whatever you do. And you can use us as an example. We’ve got to go. Key Life is a listener supported production of Key Life Network.