Speak words of truth and grace. That heals.

Steve Brown:
Speak words of truth and grace. That heals. Let’s talk about it, on Key Life.

Matthew Porter:
It’s for freedom that Christ set us free, and Key Life is here to bring you Biblical teaching that encourages you to never give into slavery again. Our teacher on Key Life is Steve Brown. He’s an author, broadcaster, and seminary professor who’s sick of phony religion.

Steve Brown:
Thank you Matthew. We’re still studying Proverbs, if you’ve been away for a while, and we were talking yesterday about words that divide, and we were looking at Proverbs 18:19.

A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.

In other words, the writer of Proverbs, and thus God himself, says, Learn to be careful of what you say, because what you say is important. One of the interesting things about the Bible is the concept of the power of words. That starts with God, and He creates by the Word. He speaks it, and the Word itself is the creative power of the universe. And if you read the Book of Psalms, you’ll find benedictions. What are benedictions? Benedictions are pronouncements of blessing on other people. And the Bible teaches that when you give somebody a benediction, it really does bless. It really does make a difference. And there are also in the Book of Psalms, maledictions, and those are curses. And those words have power too. So, the writer of Proverbs says.

A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.

So, you have to be careful of the words that you speak. Number of years ago, I spoke at a large ecclesiastical meeting and offended a bunch of people. And I’m not going to tell you the whole story, but it was, it was interesting. I really didn’t mean to offend them, I had a young man come up to me afterwards, who said, Dr. Brown, I was hurt by what you said today. And I said, son, this is not a big enough place to hurt you. And he said, Do you not want to hear what a fellow elder has to say? And I said, No, I really don’t, but if you want to be honest, I’ll listen. He said, I think you are arrogant. I think you are rude and I think you are prideful. And I said, bingo. But I’m better than I was. And Jesus isn’t through with me yet. But at any rate, I could tell you more about that story, but I ended up having an article written about me that was very critical. In fact, I was brought up on charges, on one occasion. Nothing ever came from it, because I was in the right and they were in the wrong, but at any rate, I decided when I read this article in this particular Christian magazine that I was going to respond to the guy who was the editor of the magazine, and I did, and it was a very, very angry letter. Now, up to the time when I started teaching at seminary, I was kind of my own boss. But at seminary, I realized that things that I did and said affected the institution where I was teaching. So, I decided to let the president of the seminary, and his name is Luder Whitlock, a very wise man in so many ways, I decided to take the letter before I send it and have Luder read it. He sat down and read the letter and he said, Steve, this is all true, but if I were you, I wouldn’t send it. Because if you send it, you’re going to stir this thing up and it’s going to be worse than it’s been before. And I said, if you tell me not to send it, I won’t. And he said, I’m not telling you that. This is not an order, it’s just saying, be careful. And I sent it, and Proverbs 18:19 became the reality of my life. And I’d like to tell you that everything ended well, and it did sort of, but it took a very long time. Because I didn’t stop and consider the words that I spoke. Be careful. Be careful. Think about the person you’re talking to and what will bless and what will curse, what will bring healing and what will cause wounds. Words are very powerful, the Bible says. And often, the words we speak become the reality that’s a part of our existence. Alright, I don’t want to talk anymore about that. Let’s talk about first impressions. Proverbs 18:17 says.

The first one to plead his case seems right until the neighbor comes and examines him.

Is that true or what? You know, you can listen to one side of an argument, be ready to cheer and become a cheerleader for the person who’s making the argument, until you hear a second opinion, and then all of a sudden, everything falls apart, and you’re not sure anymore. And so, be careful of first impressions, always. In fact, I taught seminary students be careful of first impressions on the pulpit committee. Pulpit committees will come on when they want you to be their pastor as being wonderful and spiritual and praiseworthy, and they’ll tell you how wonderful you are. And I tell students, don’t you believe a word of it. The one that was critical of you will probably end up being your best friend and your best supporter. And the ones that told you how wonderful you were, that you were just waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity, those people could end up being those that throw rocks at you later on. The Book of Proverbs says that. It takes a while to make a friend. Don’t go by first impressions. There’s a book, I may have told you about it, by a man by the name of Gerard. It was given to me by a nurse professor in a medical school. And it’s called The Transparent Self. And one of the things in that book, I don’t know whether Gerard is a Christian or not, was the importance of trading pieces of one’s soul. When you meet somebody and they seem so wonderful and so wise that you tell them your life story right off, you’re going to end up in a lot of trouble. You’ve got to give friendship some time. You’ve got to let things seep in. You’ve got to give a little bit of yourself. And when they give a little bit of theirselves, and neither one of you stomping in the ground, then you can give a little bit more of yourself. And they will give a little bit more of their selves. And one day you’ll wake up with a friend that will be as close as a brother. But what the Book of Proverbs is saying, be very careful of first impressions, give it time, let it seep, let it seep a while. Be still. Those first impressions are often the wrong impressions. Let me show you something else. The difference between acquaintances and friends. Proverbs 18:24 says this, and we’re going to talk a little bit more about this next week, but I want to introduce it to you. This is what the writer of Proverbs says.

A man or a woman who has friends must himself or herself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

In other words, there are acquaintances. If you’re a friendly person, you’ll have lots of acquaintances. But friends, that’s another thing. If you have two or three or four close friends, who will stick as close as a brother you ought to consider yourself very blessed indeed. I may have shared it with you, but it’s a funny statement. That a friend will forgive you if you kill somebody, but a real friend will help you bury the body. Well, I don’t know about that, but real friends are hard to come by. And it takes time, so you have to be careful. And so, the advice that the writer of the Book of Proverbs would give all of us, not only be careful of first impressions, but be careful of how you build a friendship. Do it very carefully. Reveal yourself a little bit at a time. Let them reveal their selves a little bit at a time. And eventually, if things go well, you’ll end up with a friend who will help you bury the body. Ha ha. Don’t send me letters, I’m just kidding around, but it really is important. My mentor, late mentor, Fred Smith said his most favorite thing in the world was to introduce friends to friends. And he did that. And he was my friend and it changed my life. You think about that. Amen.

Matthew Porter:
Thank you Steve. And with that, we land the plane for this week of teaching from Proverbs. Steve, we’ll be back tomorrow, joined by our good friend, Pete Alwinson for a little something we call Friday Q&A. Tomorrow, they’ll tackle this question. What about the Trinity in the Old Testament? Intrigued? I know I am. Be sure to join us tomorrow. Well, if you hadn’t heard, today is Leap Day. Only happens every four years, that’s pretty rare. You know what’s also rare? Finding someone who doesn’t have a hidden agenda. And sorry, that includes you and me, but there’s good news. God invites us to drop our masks and discover how his love and grace propel us into the real relationships we thought we’d never have. Steve talks about this in a special booklet called Hidden Agendas based on his book of the same name. Get your free copy of that booklet by calling us at 1-800-KEY-LIFE that’s 1-800-539-5433. You can also e-mail [email protected] to ask for that booklet, to mail your request go to keylife.org/contact to find our mailing addresses. Again just ask for your free copy of the Hidden Agendas booklet. And last thing, if you value the work of Key Life, would you join us in that work through your financial support? You can charge a gift on your credit card or include a gift in your envelope. Or simply pick up your phone and text Key Life to 28950. Again, that’s Key Life, one word, two words. It doesn’t matter. Just text that to 28950 then follow the instructions. Key Life is a member of ECFA in the States and CCCC in Canada. And we are a listener supported production of Key Life Network.