Saying goodbye is sometimes really hard.

Steve Brown:
Saying goodbye is sometimes really hard. Let’s talk about it, on Key Life.

Matthew Porter:
Key Life is a radio program for struggling believers, sick of phony religion and pious clichés. Our host and teacher is seminary professor Steve Brown. He teaches that radical freedom leads to infectious joy and surprising faithfulness.

Steve Brown:
Thank you Matthew. If you were listening yesterday, we wrapped up talking and teaching about the first incident where Eutychus, the kid lost his life. A miracle happened, and Paul prioritized the word of God to the miracle. And we also saw in that first incident that when God calls one, he calls a bunch. And then we looked at the second incident to take place in the 20th chapter of Acts. I’m not going to read it to you again, but it’s quite moving. The apostle Paul was at Miletus. He was on the coast waiting on the dock, and he sent for the elders, the leaders of the church at Ephesus, the church that Paul loved and had founded. And they came and he preached, and what he said was extremely moving. And at the end he said, I’m innocent of your blood. I’ve preached to you the whole council of God. And then he warned them about the wolves in sheep clothing. And then they hugged and they said goodbye. And Luke says, in that 20th chapter of Acts, there were a lot of tears and sadness because they all knew this was goodbye and the last time that they were going to see the apostle Paul. I have been told by Jeremy, the producer of this broadcast, I was telling him a story and he said, you ought to share that on the air. So, against my better self, I’m going to do that. I served a church in the Miami area for some 20 years, almost 20 years. And when I left to do Key Life and to teach at the seminary, I picked this particular text and the 20th chapter of Acts of Paul’s goodbye in Miletus. And do you know what happened in the first service? I fell apart. I mean, I started looking out over the congregation and looking at the adults that I had baptized when they were babies. The couples I had counseled the hearts that had been opened to me over those almost 20 years, and I lost it. I mean, I couldn’t even talk, it was awful. It was one of the most embarrassing times of my entire life. And if you’re in our television audience and you can look at me, you know that I’m blushing when I’m telling you this story. It was just awful, and it was just awful for the apostle Paul in the 20th chapter of Acts. As an aside, Cathy, who is my assistant, came into the control room when I was telling Jeremy that story. And she said, I remember that, it was terrible. And I said, I know it’s terrible. And she said, but you did better in the second service. I said, what happened? She said, I went back to your study thinking you were suicidal, and I first thought I shouldn’t even go in, but I knocked on the door and you open the door with red eyes and said, that will never happen again. And she said, in the second service, nobody would’ve known it bothered you at all. I don’t know what happened, maybe I asked the Holy Spirit to at least get me through the sermon, but the emotion of that Sunday morning, which was the last Sunday of my being the pastor in a church that I loved beyond words, I could identify with the apostle Paul. In this 20th chapter of Acts, he’s thinking about the church at Ephesus, and if we had time, I’d go to the book of Ephesus and read you some passages from that. That’s an amazing book. And one of the things so clear in the book of Ephesus, is how much the apostle Paul loved God’s people in that place. He administered to them for three years, lives had been changed, an impact had been made that nobody would ever forget, and now he was saying goodbye and everybody knew that it was goodbye. I remember the carpool I was in when I was in graduate school at Boston University. We all were serving student churches on Cape God. And every day we drove about 130 miles to Boston to go to school and back in the afternoon. And we did that for two or three years. And you can imagine, there were six of us. And you know, tremendous bonding takes place in those kinds of hours. And we became very, very close friends. And the last day of school when we all had completed the work and had graduated and had our degrees, we drove back to Cape Cod where we were serving, and we got out of the car and we joined hands and we prayed together. I’ll never forget that time, we were all talking about, we were going to get together and make sure these bonds were going to stay together. And I looked at my friend Richard Shankweiler, who’s now in heaven with Jesus. And Richard had tears in his eyes and he knew, cause he was old enough to know, and he said to the rest of us, it isn’t going to happen that way. He said, it will never be the same, we’ll never have the friendship that we have at this very moment. Well, Paul could have said exactly the same thing in Miletus as he says goodbye to his beloved leaders in that place. Saying goodbye is hard. But for a Christian, you can always say, I’ll see you later. You think about that. Amen.

Matthew Porter:
What a powerful passage here in Acts 20 and a powerful story echoing that passage from Steve. Thank you for sharing that, Steve. One more day of teaching for the Book of Acts for this week and that’s tomorrow. Be sure to join us then. Well, you may be aware of some famous families with a lot of talent, the Osmond’s, the Baldwin’s, the Jackson’s. But let me tell you about the Ortlund’s. They’re seemingly all amazing Bible teachers, and we recently spoke with Gavin Ortlund about the subject of humility, something he calls the joy of self forgetfulness. Take a listen to part of that conversation, then I’ll be back to tell you about a special free offer.

Gavin Ortlund: People sometimes think that humility is self-hatred, and maybe we wouldn’t say that, but sometimes you think, well, to be a humble person means you think really negatively about yourself, you’re constantly beating yourself up and that kind of thing. And another one that’s kind of similar could be, thinking of humility as hiding. So, if you have a talent or you’re good at something, to be humble means you never tell anybody about your talent, you never express that talent. And so, those are two misconceptions that I think are helpful to identify so that we’re alert to that and realizing that really isn’t the target. And when we practice humility, it actually frees us up to not even think about those things at all as much and just be less self preoccupied altogether, I think.

Cathy Wyatt:
You see that a lot, especially with musicians, singers, they get done singing when they get this great round of applause, you know, and then they immediately put their head down, then they point up to Jesus. It’s all from Jesus. I mean, that’s great cause obviously God gives you the talent, but if he gives it to you, I think he wants you to say, you know what? I feel really blessed that God’s given me this gift. Thank you that you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed doing it, but that’s hard sometimes.

Gavin Ortlund: Oh yeah. And some people might have such a misconception of humility, they might never get up on the stage to sing at all. You know, they might think, well, if I’m humble, I really don’t want to be up in front on stage in any in front of anybody. So, that’s why I just have a burden about this topic cause I think sometimes those misconceptions cause us to have this negative view of humility. I think if we understand what humility is, it’s like oxygen, it’s like life, you know, everything tends to go better when we’re approaching things in a humble spirit.

Matthew Porter:
Gavin, we talked a a little bit about what humility isn’t. Is there kind of any working definition for what it is?

Gavin Ortlund: Well, I’ve been so helped by C.S. Lewis in so many ways, and he gives, he has a lot to say about humility in the book, The Screwtape Letters, and then in the book Mere Christianity. One of the emphases in his writings is that humility is self forgetfulness. And so, this is the running idea of the book that humility is self forgetfulness leading to joy. It’s when we’re just not preoccupied with ourselves, one way or another, you know? So, because it’s possible you could be spiking the football in the end zone after a touchdown and, but then pointing up to God, but then be thinking in your heart, oh, look how humble I’m being by pointing up to God. You know, and that’s still, well, you’re still thinking about yourself right there. So, I think we’re on the right track when we start realizing it has to do with a focus on the external world around us. And that’s ultimately and finally going to be God. So, we’re going to see God as very big and ourselves as very small, but then also just humility can come, just focusing on other people more, you know, at a social event, just not thinking about us as much. You know, my grandfather is a, was a great man of God and one of my great heroes, very humble man. I used to try to describe what made him so special and when he would walk into a room, his mentality truly in his heart was to say, how are you? And when a lot of us walk into a room, our initial heart posture is to say, here am I, you know, and to wonder how am I coming across? But that focus on others, that focus on the external world around you, paradoxically, I think leads to a lot of joy and it makes life more enjoyable and it makes life go more smoothly. So, I think humility has a lot to do with that. And C.S. Lewis talks about, you know, when you’re around someone who’s a humble person, the only thing you might not like is just you might be envious of how easily they enjoy life. But humility reduces that sense of competition, like it’s me versus you, which one of us will be seen as better. And humility produces the sense of harmony. I think humility is needed in our relationships. A lot of times conflict can be traced back to a lack of humility or a lack of humility will exacerbate conflict. I even think our physical health goes better with humility.

Matthew Porter:
This was such an insightful conversation with Gavin, but don’t take my word for it. Listen for yourself by requesting that episode on CD, for free. Just call us at 1-800-KEY-LIFE that’s 1-800-539-5433. You can also e-mail [email protected] to ask for that CD. Or to mail your request go to keylife.org/contact to find our mailing addresses for the U.S. and Canada. Just ask for your free copy of the CD featuring Gavin Ortlund. And finally, if you value the work of Key Life, would you support that work through your giving? You can charge a gift on your credit card or include a gift in your envelope. Or now you can simply pick up your phone and text Key Life to 28950 that’s Key Life, one word, two words. It doesn’t matter. Just text that to 28950 and then follow the instructions. Key Life is a member of ECFA in the States and CCCC in Canada,. And as always, we are a listener supported production of Key Life Network.